No laptop is an island

Revised with updated information on Atlantis Internet access

Remember the Luddites? They were a jolly old bunch, what with all their industrial sabotage, machine-busting, and fears of a world where a blogger can find solace in the ability to talk on his cell phone while withdrawing cash from the ATM, while his WiFi-equipped laptop hums along through the ether.

They are the same people who today might scoff at the idea of playing poker online with digital cards and digital chips. With that in mind, I heard a rumor that some neo-Luddite revolutionary was planning to stage a major comeback for the movement. He thought the upcoming PokerStars.com Caribbean Adventure might be a good canvas for his insanity.

The scenario was frightening, at best. Here we are, a small town-sized group of poker players so dependent on today's technology that we have a hard time pouring our morning cup of coffee without considering the java implications. And here we are set to embark on a week-long island adventure that will take us away from our cable modem, DSL lines, and favorite WiFi hotspots. And that's not to mention the cellphone and PDA conundrums. The Luddites couldn't be more pleased.

Reader and tournament participant Frank J., I believe, shared in my fears of the Luddites among us. He wrote via the e-mail address in the right column to ask what sort of Internet access we might have at the Atlantis Resort and Casino.

Admittedly, the Atlantis website is a little vague on the subject. The website suggests the dial-up Internet access is available from the hotel rooms and the hotel's business center has laptop hook-ups.

Now, sure, that sounds nice, but as a high-speed and wireless junkie, I had to believe there was more. I mean, many of us need a daily fix of e-mail, websites, and...well, of course, Internet poker. Dial-up just wasn't going to do it.

So, as your Minister of Information, I felt it was my duty to seek out the truth and thwart the plans of the Luddites at large. I found the truth in the form of a nice lady named Ashley who works in media relations for the hotel and has no warm feelings for Luddites herself. If she is to be believed (and I have no reason to believe she's not), the five-star Atlantis is going to hook us all up, quite literally.

Ashley tells me the hotel is equipped with some WiFi access.

• Guest rooms are only set up for dial-up access at 50 cents per minute...however...
• Pool decks are WiFi hotspots
• Hotel lobbies are WiFi hotspots
• Marina is a WiFi hotspot
• WiFi access is $10 for 24 hours

Again, this information comes from Ashley, the media relations representative. I can't vouch for it. However, I believe it enough that I'll be fully equipped to enjoy the Internet access when I arrive.

Alas, not everything can be so perfect. If you've never been to the islands, you might be unaware that you might as well leave your cell phone at home. Non-Bahamian cell phones are as good as paperweights. And, as I understand it, regular phone calls off the island are fairly expensive.

So, if you're girlfriend misses you, your wife doesn't believe you're actually going to play poker, or your husband is stuck at home with the kids, here are a couple of suggestions so you can keep in touch.

• Skype.com is a fairly affordable international, Internet telephony system that will run off your laptop. You can fund your account (in Euros, by the way) with a credit card and then make unlimited calls for something like two cents a minute. All it requires is a laptop and headset/microphone. I've signed up for it and, so far, it seems to work well.
• If you're not brining a laptop, consider buying an international phone card before you leave home. It could end up saving you a lot of money. Especially if your wife is like mine and likes to make sure you haven't lost a limb in an unfortunate hotel room mini-bar accident.

With that information in hand, I feel a lot better about our ability to defeat the Luddites.

Oh, and if I've offended any Luddites out there, feel free to e-mail me your complaints.

Heh, heh.

Coming soon: What to expect when you're expecting...to go to the Bahamas