Waiting in paradise

Either the tradewinds are starting to get to my head or somebody left a whole bunch of fish in the hallway. During my wanderings, I found myself face-to-face with a lot of non-human creatures. And I've come to terms with that. What's harder to comprehend is the amount of work going on at this resort.

For those people who throw home games and consider the most laborious part of your efforts the time you spend in the snack aisle deciding whether to buy peppered beef jerkey or pistachio nuts, you might be surprised how much effort goes into organizing an event as large as the PokerStars Caribbean Adventure.

As I type, three people are on CB radios, talking through crackles and pops, sweating through the protocol of Bahamian gaming laws. Seven laptop computers sit open, their screens burning holes in the eyes of the tired staffers who are aching with every detail that requires attention. Half-eaten sandwiches and empty cups of coffee litter the work table, and the room seems to be running short on caffeine. And surprisingly, everyone seems to be in a pretty good mood.

It's now nearing 5pm. The dealers are all due in tonight. Some of the players have already arrived. The rest are due in tomorrow. Staple guns still pop in the tournament room where set-up crews are putting the finishing touches on the poker tables.

A couple of hours ago, Juha Helppi walked in with a smile and a contingent of followers. Minutes before he arrived, a man stood looking at the poker room with something resembling disbelief. The room looked so nice, such virgin territory, it seemed a shame that no one was sitting down actually playing cards.

Therein lies the rub for the people who have already arrived.

Understand, nowhere on this island or any other in the Bahamas will you find a poker room other than the PokerStars room currently under constuction. That means anyone who has developed a poker jones in the past few hours has no outlet. Due to gaming laws and logistics, there will be no poker played here until 10pm Wednesday night. Once that time arrives there will enough poker to choke even the hungriest of players. Until then, however, players are relegated to the pit. And we all know, the negative EV games are no way to pass the time for a poker player.

Now, I know as well as anybody, there really is no consoling a poker player who wants to play and can't. At the same time, I think most folks can take comfort in the promise of poker within the next 30 hours. And if that isn't enough to soothe the jones, there is this little fact: we're in the middle of nothing less than paradise.

You've seen the fish already, so here's no denying the wildlife here. During a brief walk around a small part of this expansive resort, I happened upon a fairly mild-mannered turtle. He seemed pet-able, but I didn't take such liberties. I've also heard tales of some sort of ray (manta or sting, I didn't ask) with a 22-foot wingspan. Apparently she's grown so large that even this place can't handle her much longer and she's set to be turned loose on the wild seas that surround us.

And the water and weather are certainly here. It's hard to walk anywhere without seeing something very blue that bears a startling resemblance to water. It's enough to make anyone forget for just a moment that they came here to sit inside and play cards. The beauty of a place like this is that even an amateur photographer can just point and shoot and find postcards on the memory card.

Among the most interesting characters around this place is a gentleman by the name of Reynaldo. The man has one job and he's pretty good at it. In a little circle of shops that hawk wares so expensive and wonderful that security guards are posted at some of the doors, a little unassuming cigar shop sits open for business. Just inside the door, Reynaldo rolls and rolls. When he finishes doing that he rolls some more, then takes a moment to greet a guy with a camera who just can't get enough pictures of the rolling.



Reynaldo can roll you a cigar that is shaped like a pipe. He can roll you a cigar that looks like a pencil. And if one cigar that sits on a table nearby is any indication, Reynaldo can roll you a cigar that's as big as an anteater's nose. What's more, if we needed any indication that this is a poker weekend--regardless of the fish and water around us--a copy of Cigar Aficionado sits on a table just inside the shop. No real surprise who is on the cover.



So, the waiting really isn't that bad. It gives the players a few hours to rest up, get a massage, and check out the big boats that have docked near Murray's Deli. I'd like to think that the winner of this year's tournament might find him or herself on the way toward the kind of riches that could buy such a vessel.

So, relax, all. Your PokerStars staff is laboring long into the night to make this an unfortgettable event. Right now, you don't have to worry about bad beats, suck-out rivers, or the nerves of making it into the money. Now, all you have to worry about is paradise. And paradise requires no worry.

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